The Heaviest Element Known To Science

I came upon this at least four years ago. I did not write it (though I wish I had), but cannot find out who did. Near as I can figure it is anonymous. If someone can take credit for it, I will be happy to give it.

This report has been posted on various blogs from time to time, but not recently. So, I thought I would share it. We all need a laugh from time to time, especially in these times.

The Heaviest Element

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.  The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

2 thoughts on “The Heaviest Element Known To Science

  1. I read a lot of interesting posts here. Probably you spend a lot of time writing,
    i know how to save you a lot of time, there is an online tool that creates high quality, SEO friendly
    articles in seconds, just type in google – laranitas free content source

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s